Saturday, October 28, 2006
monday is chinese Olevels. AAHHH. :( im feeling so super weird abt it.i feel like i broke into someone else's house today. heh, cause the owner wasnt at home and i spent the whole day studying there. din do quite alot, just alittle bit. aw :( ha, its quite weird tho. but i like it there, really! :D i love everything there, im starting to like the scary dog tooo! love<333>
recently, i really feel quite unhappy tho. i felt so trapped. maybe love is being shown in diff ways tt makes me feel so unloved. but well, i know ppl still care. =) i feel tt im living my life for the sake of others, i live, i do things cause others want me to. i feel so horrible! and i really feeel so under pressure and so controlled. but ya, i know :) its for my own good. God, pls help me. but QT is not getting anywhere too. ah, i feel so terrible, so bad, so not consistent, so unworthy of His love. =(
i really need a retreat, to somewhere comfortable, without worries. (hmm sounds like heaven) i want to go on cruise/holiday and ya da ya da. okays, you know what, i should study more now. ah. ok, pls stop staring at me. stop giving me pressure. i beg you. i want you to still care, but nt like tt ok? pls. i want you to be more than a leader but a friend, a brother in christ.
okay, randomy- i miss kor! *laughs.
i bought the book today! my utmost for the highest! love. (:
im serious abt getting real with God again, im serious. the battlefield is our mind, and the battle? it belongs to our Lord. (:
im Yours.
yonglingg.
10:20 PM
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